Sonic The Hedgehog

''"Man, F!@# you son!" - Sonic to his son''

''"...F!@# you son! cable is expensive!" - Sonic to his son''

The much blacksheeped gaming icon, this incarnation has to deal with a failed marriage and divorce, as well as a Napoleon-esque Pedophile in Knothole. Due to the lack of a job market, the constant invasions by Robotnik, heavy child support, and extreme jealousy of Sally's successful new boyfriends, Sonic is incredibly bitter

Sonic's sense of priorities are also pretty terrible, making him the perfect deadbeat

Sally Acorn


Sonic's Ex wife couldn't be any nastier. The witch constantly finds ways to raise the cost for Child support, while simultaneously wasting said cash

It's unknown why Sonic even married her once. She's been known to be slutty

There have even been attempts of sabotaging Sonic's chances of getting a real job. Ouch

Due to this, for the few times they have sex, it's typically hate driven, or to weasel more money out of Sonic

The latter in turn trying to kill himself at points

Eventually Sonic got his revenge

Bunnie Rabbot


Despite Sonic having horrid relations with Sally, Bunnie's actually a close friend to Sonic. Both have expressed distaste to Sally's new date, and even went home base

In the end, Sally's death benefited both, and she stopped dating Antoine

Antoine Depardieu


By contrast, Sonic's relations with Antoine have been understandably spaced, as the French Coyote is known to be a Pedophile. Sonic has even noted that his death or arrest is actually a positive thing for the village. In the end, he finally is atoned for his sins. By which I mean forcefully

His son
Sonic has shown deep resentment of the divorce, and Sally dating other men, which his son typically snarks. Due to the constant belittling, Sonic has grown to hate his son, even missing his events on purpose. Though he takes advantage of the weekend visits to spy on Sally's romance...

Either way, f!@# you son!